How many of us spend our lives living consciously, always aware of our emotions and reactions? I don’t know anyone! This may sound bold, but I believe that honesty is the best policy. When we encounter a person who is sick, and we know they are getting worse, I believe it’s important to be open and discuss what is really going on. Do relationships have to be healed? Are there past events that need to be reviewed? How does the sick person feel about their life winding down and then dying? The questions are countless.
I have been privileged to be at the bedside of both my mother and my husband when they died. They are the two people I’ve been the closest to in my life. I was 54 when my mother’s life was declining. Although we talked about a lot of things, I still wasn’t comfortable enough yet with end of issues to ask her poignant questions and help her come to terms with her own death. Nevertheless, she had a beautiful death and she said she wasn’t afraid of dying. By the time my husband got Alzheimer’s and cancer and then decided to go through the VSED process, I had grown a lot emotionally. We talked about everything. We were able to review our life together. There was nothing that still needed to be said by the time he started to VSED. He was able to discuss his fears, and how he resolved him. I did not want to share my personal grief with him, but I did want to share my gratitude. Nothing was left unsaid.
Dealing with our loved ones when they are terminally ill is challenging. Dealing with our grief and the grief of those who are sick is also challenging. By having open conversations with family, loved ones and those who are ill, the grief process can be processed easier. Saying goodbye to a loved one is difficult but with community support it can be possible to peacefully move forward in our lives. This is an article that explains grief step by step and shows how dealing with the pain of losing a loved one can be alleviated during their life and after they pass away. The biggest thing is to have support.
If you do not have support there are many resources and there is a contact me form if you ever have questions regarding end of life choices or VSED.