We’re Not Too Young

As newly weds it was important to have a discussion about what matters most at the end of life so we can make the right decisions for each other when the time comes

I hope that someday everyone fills out a health directive when they become an adult at 18. Our parents are legally responsible for us in the United States until then. At 18 ideally everyone should fill out a health directive. If you don’t do this and you are in an accident or get a terminal disease doctors and hospitals have a the legal right to make all decisions for you. Your health directive ensures that your loved ones will be able to represent you and your wishes. I filled out my first health directive when I was 40. I still didn’t believe I was going to die someday. I know It is challenging to think about a health directive when you think you are immortal. They vary from state to state, but what is important is what you write. Nevertheless, we are all going to die and we all want to have a good death. We are all familiar with death and through figuring out what what state we want to live into is something only you can decide. That is why preparing is important even when we are young and do not think about death.

A touching story of two Newlyweds 

Important End of Life Conversations

This is an all too human story. Having supported my mother and my husband through their end of life choices, I am grateful for the clarity of information that existed between them and me. They were open about their wishes. We had good communication. Many people don’t have these conversations because it creates discomfort for them. Usually, it’s the children who have conflicted issues about discussing the end of life. They don’t want to acknowledge their parents’ deaths.  Following that, they have to acknowledge their own death because it is something we all will eventually face. 

I remember how difficult it was for me to talk about these issues with my own mother. It took years before I got comfortable with it. The conversations made me feel very sad because I had to face that I would lose her someday. I loved her very much. Nevertheless, I learned so much about end of life issues from her courageous demonstration. She was a teacher to me. She certainly helped me pave the way for clear communication with my husband once he was diagnosed with both Alzheimer’s and laryngeal cancer. 

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